Emotion-s'motion.

I feel over-dramatic when I go back and read posts like yesterday. It's amazing what talking to someone about your problems can do. I can easily have myself convinced of something when I just am figuring it out in my head. But my friends have a way of putting me back in place and helping me make a decision that is of sound logic. I'm not quitting my job. At least not this week. Yes, I am bored here and feel like it is a waist of my time, but the positives of it far outweigh those aspects. I want it all, but will have to patiently wait for my plan to pan out before I start making rash decisions.

I suppose I rely on my heart too much at times. Not completely a bad thing, you need to feel and have emotions to be able to experience life, but in a fine balance with understanding those feelings so you can deal accordingly with them. That's the hard part for me.

It never stops amazing me how incredible my friends are. I've been fairly self-centered recently, focused on my own issues and questions, and they stand by me like none other and consistently strive to listen and help. God was definitely kind to me in the friendship area, I'm so thankful for every one of them.

Lost.

It's mornings like this I wake up and consider quitting my job. Highly consider, not just not wanting to work today. I'm not tired or in a bad mood. It's like there is an actual force pushing me to not be in this place. Every mile closer and step into the building was forced because I'm not the type of person to just not show up. I only work here 3 days a week and the people are very nice. I know my job does not define me. But I am now staring at my headset and dreading the moment I put it on, which should have been 10 minutes ago.

Does God ever push us to do things that are not obviously good for us? I would be in a world of hurt without a paycheck from here. Maybe I should trust more. How do I know it is just not my own feelings, but more?

I don't know what to do.