I find it neat when parents take out their frustrations on schools. (I'm hoping the sarcasm was sincerely noted.) I will not go into it, but all I will say is that after the school counselor had read the email that was sent to me, her words were exactly, "you can't fix stupid". So on that note, if I ever do anything ridiculous I hope I have friends/family that feel comfortable enough telling me what I did/am thinking is dumb. I realize this is probably one of the hardest things to do. To tell someone you care about that they are being insane has to be done with tactfulness and lots of love. Anyways, I guess I just wish these parents had someone to tell them they are being ungrateful and just mean. It's amazing how one not thought-out, negative email can make a person feel so lousy. I mean, at least slightly consider the receiver's feelings, damn.
...to be suddenly brought back down.
...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Setting priorities
OK. Scratch that last posting. Before I decide anything on the "living" front, I need a job. I will most definitely be living at my parents for a few months before I get my crap figured out. That is just a depressing fact I have to admit to now. Let's look on the positive side, saved money. More money for my house! (well we'll see what happens) Right now it'd be great to have a house because of the sweet government deal, but really I'd be content in an apartment as well and waiting for a better time for me to buy more responsibly (and less dependent on my rents). My parents are drilling the concept of me having a house into my head and it's hard to ignore. Who wouldn't love having their own place? But I have to do what is responsible for me.
Anyways, I've calmed down from "freak-out" mode and met reality. Goal #1: Get a teaching job. After that: whatever.
Anyways, I've calmed down from "freak-out" mode and met reality. Goal #1: Get a teaching job. After that: whatever.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
To let my pride takeover....or to have a house???
It's when I spend a weekend here alone I really remember why I want to move home. But that has nothing to do with what I'm about to write about...
So parents are great. Usually. (more so when you get older and aren't annoyed by them) My parents are really pushing me into getting a house and it's starting to stress me out. A house is a BIG thing. So many factors and so much planning need to be thought about. I made a list of house stuff the other day, things I will need to do, buy, and a time-line like thing. If I were to be moving into a house this summer, it needs to be happening now. Like I should currently have one picked out and start negotiations on it. That's not happening. I also should have lots of money saved up. Closing costs, taxes, buying appliances that are not cheap (refrigerator, washer and dryer, etc). That kind of money I do not have. My parents have offered to help me in the money area (I would be paying them back, instead of companies and whatnot), yet I don't want it. My parents always try and swoop in and "rescue" me with money. Frankly, I'd rather not take it. I like being independent. I'm not sure what their take on it is, whether they like helping their daughter and have the money, so why not, or if they like me having to depend on them (paying them back). I'm not sure. You think they're scared I'll never come see them if they don't give me money? Who knows. My parents were always extremely responsible with their money. I want to be like them when it comes to saving. My dad makes a hefty amount, my mom has now been back at work for several years (an extra income they didn't need). My parents built their own house (no house payments), own all of their cars (paid cash for the new one), have near to none payments on anything, and still shop at Aldi for groceries. I highly admire my parents for their thriftiness and how smart they are with their money. A part of me wants to scream "heck yes! take the money", but in the back of my mind it seems irresponsible. I would love to not have rent money going to waste, but I don't want to feel childlike paying my parents back for everything they will have to help me get started with the house. This is my pride kicking in. I'm so close to just telling them "no, just forget it". There's just not enough time and I don't have the responsible amount saved up yet. Who in their right mind turns down a house though? Or the help my parents are offering to give for me to get one?
I KNOW the time is not right for me to buy, but with my parents being so set on me getting a house before the stimulus package expires, I know they would buy a house without me (because my dad has wanted a fixer-upper for a long time). SO really it's a matter of me being a part of getting this new house now or my dad buying it anyways and probably "giving" it to me in a year or so. I feel so spoiled and I hate it. I need advice. Anyone?... like the three people that I think read this, help me out...
So parents are great. Usually. (more so when you get older and aren't annoyed by them) My parents are really pushing me into getting a house and it's starting to stress me out. A house is a BIG thing. So many factors and so much planning need to be thought about. I made a list of house stuff the other day, things I will need to do, buy, and a time-line like thing. If I were to be moving into a house this summer, it needs to be happening now. Like I should currently have one picked out and start negotiations on it. That's not happening. I also should have lots of money saved up. Closing costs, taxes, buying appliances that are not cheap (refrigerator, washer and dryer, etc). That kind of money I do not have. My parents have offered to help me in the money area (I would be paying them back, instead of companies and whatnot), yet I don't want it. My parents always try and swoop in and "rescue" me with money. Frankly, I'd rather not take it. I like being independent. I'm not sure what their take on it is, whether they like helping their daughter and have the money, so why not, or if they like me having to depend on them (paying them back). I'm not sure. You think they're scared I'll never come see them if they don't give me money? Who knows. My parents were always extremely responsible with their money. I want to be like them when it comes to saving. My dad makes a hefty amount, my mom has now been back at work for several years (an extra income they didn't need). My parents built their own house (no house payments), own all of their cars (paid cash for the new one), have near to none payments on anything, and still shop at Aldi for groceries. I highly admire my parents for their thriftiness and how smart they are with their money. A part of me wants to scream "heck yes! take the money", but in the back of my mind it seems irresponsible. I would love to not have rent money going to waste, but I don't want to feel childlike paying my parents back for everything they will have to help me get started with the house. This is my pride kicking in. I'm so close to just telling them "no, just forget it". There's just not enough time and I don't have the responsible amount saved up yet. Who in their right mind turns down a house though? Or the help my parents are offering to give for me to get one?
I KNOW the time is not right for me to buy, but with my parents being so set on me getting a house before the stimulus package expires, I know they would buy a house without me (because my dad has wanted a fixer-upper for a long time). SO really it's a matter of me being a part of getting this new house now or my dad buying it anyways and probably "giving" it to me in a year or so. I feel so spoiled and I hate it. I need advice. Anyone?... like the three people that I think read this, help me out...
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Thinking positive. Dooooo ittttt!
Field Trip today. A week ago I was bummed our district only has one field trip the whole year. After today, I'm glad. It wasn't terrible or anything, it went really well actually. It was just extremely stressful. I can't imagine how many times I counted my kids today to make sure no-one was being left anywhere. And with some of the clever kids I have, they sure tried. I even made eye contact with a kid leaving the restroom and going the opposite way as our class. He knew I saw him yet continued to "sneak" away.
Anyways, I've officially put in my letter of resignation for the district I'm in. Even sent an email out to the staff so I'd be the one to tell them, rather then the crazy rumors and hear-say that travels so quickly in schools. So I'm officially moving home come the end of our school year; probably early June. I haven't decided when or how to tell my kids. That's the biggest thing I'm bummed about- not being able to see them grow through the years, but my decision was sound and I believe I made it for good reasons. God knows I've thought and worried about it long enough. It feels good to have a decision made. Now I just need a job and place to live (yeah, that's it). I feel slightly snoody moving home without a job, so let it be known I'm not moving assuming (or knowing) I'll get one, I'm moving home on the premise that I currently have no family (husband/kids) and know this is the time for me to make myself happy and have no others to worry how the choice will effect them. Ha. Sorry quick side note, that looks funny... husband/kids. It's even weird for me to think about. Does that mean I'm immature? Who knows? So back to the no job thing. I'm moving home because the days that I am unhappy here greatly outweigh the rest of them and St. Louis may or may not be the answer to that, but I'd rather try it out and find the real answer than stay here and do another year of this.
I will miss my apartment here (it's pretty perfect for me, safe and not too big). However, the chances of me buying a house when I move back are very large. That excites and scares me. It's extremely exciting because I've wanted a house of my own ever since I was old enough to move out of my 'rents. Renting houses was fun (it was almost like owning a house), but the fact that I was wasting my money was constantly hovering over my head. My parents are really pushing for me to get a house (they hate that I've put so much money into renting), so I know they will be there to help me through the process of buying. I love the idea of being able to do whatever I want to my house... and I mean whatever! If I wanna paint a room pee green I can. Oh, I won't, but decorating is exciting to me, I've already begun plans in my head. Sweet things, like a giant bulletin board wall/dry erase board. I guess I've never really considered buying a house before because I feel there are other right of passages you have to conquer before buying a home; say marriage, kids maybe? It's funny when I think about it actually. I really thought I needed to be married before I'd be able to have a house. What kind of crazy talk is that? I know I'd do just fine with a house of my own, why not start now instead of waiting for prince charming (who by the way is not even in a picture now). However, owning a house is scary too. All those fancy words: mortgage, closing costs, escrow, equity... I've been doing a lot of research and it's really not as scary as they make it out to be, matter of fact, it's a wonderful investment. Not to mention the incredible rates right now, plus up to $8000 from the government... I'm sold! I know it will be a lot of work (especially more than an apartment), but I figure I have no where else to put my time, why not make a sweet home (maybe I'll actually spend less than 10 hours at work one day).
So... I think what I was talking about was moving home and the feelings behind it. I've weighed my options and come to find that this life is the only one I get, so I'm going to make the most of it and follow my heart. Heck, I may die in a week, why not live looking forward to the future instead of worrying about it all the time?
Anyways, I've officially put in my letter of resignation for the district I'm in. Even sent an email out to the staff so I'd be the one to tell them, rather then the crazy rumors and hear-say that travels so quickly in schools. So I'm officially moving home come the end of our school year; probably early June. I haven't decided when or how to tell my kids. That's the biggest thing I'm bummed about- not being able to see them grow through the years, but my decision was sound and I believe I made it for good reasons. God knows I've thought and worried about it long enough. It feels good to have a decision made. Now I just need a job and place to live (yeah, that's it). I feel slightly snoody moving home without a job, so let it be known I'm not moving assuming (or knowing) I'll get one, I'm moving home on the premise that I currently have no family (husband/kids) and know this is the time for me to make myself happy and have no others to worry how the choice will effect them. Ha. Sorry quick side note, that looks funny... husband/kids. It's even weird for me to think about. Does that mean I'm immature? Who knows? So back to the no job thing. I'm moving home because the days that I am unhappy here greatly outweigh the rest of them and St. Louis may or may not be the answer to that, but I'd rather try it out and find the real answer than stay here and do another year of this.
I will miss my apartment here (it's pretty perfect for me, safe and not too big). However, the chances of me buying a house when I move back are very large. That excites and scares me. It's extremely exciting because I've wanted a house of my own ever since I was old enough to move out of my 'rents. Renting houses was fun (it was almost like owning a house), but the fact that I was wasting my money was constantly hovering over my head. My parents are really pushing for me to get a house (they hate that I've put so much money into renting), so I know they will be there to help me through the process of buying. I love the idea of being able to do whatever I want to my house... and I mean whatever! If I wanna paint a room pee green I can. Oh, I won't, but decorating is exciting to me, I've already begun plans in my head. Sweet things, like a giant bulletin board wall/dry erase board. I guess I've never really considered buying a house before because I feel there are other right of passages you have to conquer before buying a home; say marriage, kids maybe? It's funny when I think about it actually. I really thought I needed to be married before I'd be able to have a house. What kind of crazy talk is that? I know I'd do just fine with a house of my own, why not start now instead of waiting for prince charming (who by the way is not even in a picture now). However, owning a house is scary too. All those fancy words: mortgage, closing costs, escrow, equity... I've been doing a lot of research and it's really not as scary as they make it out to be, matter of fact, it's a wonderful investment. Not to mention the incredible rates right now, plus up to $8000 from the government... I'm sold! I know it will be a lot of work (especially more than an apartment), but I figure I have no where else to put my time, why not make a sweet home (maybe I'll actually spend less than 10 hours at work one day).
So... I think what I was talking about was moving home and the feelings behind it. I've weighed my options and come to find that this life is the only one I get, so I'm going to make the most of it and follow my heart. Heck, I may die in a week, why not live looking forward to the future instead of worrying about it all the time?
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