Field Trip today. A week ago I was bummed our district only has one field trip the whole year. After today, I'm glad. It wasn't terrible or anything, it went really well actually. It was just extremely stressful. I can't imagine how many times I counted my kids today to make sure no-one was being left anywhere. And with some of the clever kids I have, they sure tried. I even made eye contact with a kid leaving the restroom and going the opposite way as our class. He knew I saw him yet continued to "sneak" away.
Anyways, I've officially put in my letter of resignation for the district I'm in. Even sent an email out to the staff so I'd be the one to tell them, rather then the crazy rumors and hear-say that travels so quickly in schools. So I'm officially moving home come the end of our school year; probably early June. I haven't decided when or how to tell my kids. That's the biggest thing I'm bummed about- not being able to see them grow through the years, but my decision was sound and I believe I made it for good reasons. God knows I've thought and worried about it long enough. It feels good to have a decision made. Now I just need a job and place to live (yeah, that's it). I feel slightly snoody moving home without a job, so let it be known I'm not moving assuming (or knowing) I'll get one, I'm moving home on the premise that I currently have no family (husband/kids) and know this is the time for me to make myself happy and have no others to worry how the choice will effect them. Ha. Sorry quick side note, that looks funny... husband/kids. It's even weird for me to think about. Does that mean I'm immature? Who knows? So back to the no job thing. I'm moving home because the days that I am unhappy here greatly outweigh the rest of them and St. Louis may or may not be the answer to that, but I'd rather try it out and find the real answer than stay here and do another year of this.
I will miss my apartment here (it's pretty perfect for me, safe and not too big). However, the chances of me buying a house when I move back are very large. That excites and scares me. It's extremely exciting because I've wanted a house of my own ever since I was old enough to move out of my 'rents. Renting houses was fun (it was almost like owning a house), but the fact that I was wasting my money was constantly hovering over my head. My parents are really pushing for me to get a house (they hate that I've put so much money into renting), so I know they will be there to help me through the process of buying. I love the idea of being able to do whatever I want to my house... and I mean whatever! If I wanna paint a room pee green I can. Oh, I won't, but decorating is exciting to me, I've already begun plans in my head. Sweet things, like a giant bulletin board wall/dry erase board. I guess I've never really considered buying a house before because I feel there are other right of passages you have to conquer before buying a home; say marriage, kids maybe? It's funny when I think about it actually. I really thought I needed to be married before I'd be able to have a house. What kind of crazy talk is that? I know I'd do just fine with a house of my own, why not start now instead of waiting for prince charming (who by the way is not even in a picture now). However, owning a house is scary too. All those fancy words: mortgage, closing costs, escrow, equity... I've been doing a lot of research and it's really not as scary as they make it out to be, matter of fact, it's a wonderful investment. Not to mention the incredible rates right now, plus up to $8000 from the government... I'm sold! I know it will be a lot of work (especially more than an apartment), but I figure I have no where else to put my time, why not make a sweet home (maybe I'll actually spend less than 10 hours at work one day).
So... I think what I was talking about was moving home and the feelings behind it. I've weighed my options and come to find that this life is the only one I get, so I'm going to make the most of it and follow my heart. Heck, I may die in a week, why not live looking forward to the future instead of worrying about it all the time?
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Growing up is a pain
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