The 1400 calory dinner.

I find it interesting that I can eat a whole box of rice-a-roni by myself. That's like supposed to be a family meal, right? Well...I suppose I do eat it as my main course, not as a side to something else (besides my pickles, of course) That has to count for something.

Yeah.

I've recently taken up a stance on caring about what others think about the way I look: I don't care. I realize it sounds blunt and mean, but it's quite enlightening actually. Instead of waking up and picking out an outfit and asking myself, "will this look ok?" I now ask myself, "do you like it?" and if the answer is yes, I go for it. I've known for a while that at my job I have no one to impress (although if you look like crap 6 year olds will tell you. I've been told I would look better with make-up on from one of my kids, precious, right?), however I do have a certain professional standard that we are required to uphold. So, I meet my requirement now by dressing myself appropriately the way I feel fit, not the way others will judge me fit. It's hard some days. And somedays I worry about it more than others. But the best thing is that the more I think it and the more I do it, the easier it is. Make-up was really my starting point. I haven't worn make-up consecutively for almost a year now. I don't mind wearing it, matter of fact somedays it's fun to look a little different, but for the most part I don't like wasting time putting it on. I think it's annoying to put on (I never really learned actually, I have my mom to thank for that). Don't get me wrong, occasionally I will put on some, but that's if I feel like it. If I feel like looking different that day, not because I need it to look good. I know that whole "beauty is within" thing sounds like a load of crap in today's society, but I'm goin' for it. So I've started with make-up and done well, now I'm crossing into other aspects, like clothing. So much is judged by what you wear. And it really makes me sad to think people judge others because of the pants they're wearing. I like clothes, I do, don't get me wrong, I like to look good, but my new thing is looking good by my standards, not anyone elses. It's fun actually. Getting past opinions is hard, but creating your own way is worth the journey I think.

Anyways, this whole entry started because I was thinking about my hair. My point I was going to make was that I realized when I don't feel like straightening my hair I don't. I just put it up. But the way I like my hair to look is straightened, so I guess I was just proud of myself for doing something for myself and not for the strangers/co-workers/family/friends that look at me.

Disclaimer: Please note, I do care what others think, I am as flawed of a person as the next, I guess it just feels good to write about the inner workings of my mind that sometimes make me smile. Understand this was far from bragging and by no means did I mean to put down others who think differently. (see, I do care) I do believe, furthermore, that the power of the individual is incredible. So knowing we all have that power inside of us, why not use it, instead of trying to blend in with everyone else? Just a thought.