Falling backwards

Somehow and where between my five years of school I've fallen backwards into a career.  Lets start with what I really wanted to do: medicine. But bring out all the questions, "is it too hard", "can I really do it", all the pressure of people counting on you to not die, and a first-hand experience of life in a hospital during rounds following doctors my first semester, I decided it not the best path, or at least the one I wanted to take. However, I did come out with an extreme respect for anyone working in that career path. So with that out of the way I had to go to school for something, as with my family if I were to not go to school I would be deemed a failure. My next option was teaching. I always thought I would make a great teacher. But here's the kicker, do I really want to teach?  You'd figure if you were good at something you would be perfectly content making a career of it, but yet I'm struggling.  I did my schooling, made several terrible choices, ended up in a city where I talk to people, but don't know anyone, got lucky student teaching in an extremely nice district, and because of that landed my teaching job in that nice (and wealthy) district.  Two weeks into our year now I'm lost. I question my career choice constantly.  And the selfish part of me wants to partially blame my parents for pushing me into something, anything really.  They always worried I'd be a failure, I could see it in their eyes. "just try it" "just take the courses", "just finish your student teaching" one just phrase at a time I was pushed through to walk across that stage that was considered a golden pathway to life by my parents. Without a degree you will not be happy, they tell me. I've always been the one to question it. Now with them more proud of me than ever, I feel like I failed myself.  I didn't listen to the voice inside my heart telling me I wasn't going the right way.  I now have a class of students counting on me this year, and although the last thing I would do is let them down, I feel angry that I let myself get into a situation like this.  No matter how much I would love to say I'm independent, my parents words effect me.  This hold I've yet to figure out, but I'm determined to find my own path.  I have to give this career a fair chance, as I know right now is probably the most stress that will occur with it. Not to mention there are other factors making it not the way I want it to be, excessive loneliness, living conditions, long drives.  I'm not even sure where I'm going with this but I feel somewhere along my way I lost sight of my goal, just as I did in this blog.