I wonder what the motive for people completely self-involved is to screw over their friends. Gratification that they "win"? The chance at an argument? They are not alright unless the people around them are not alright? Smiles for bringing a friend down with them? Roommate C is now refusing to sign release form for Roommate B because she seems it will screw her. I think she just realized that legally if she signs it she'll be the one responsible for all of her unpaid rent and late charges, which means she will no longer be able to bring us down with her. In situations like these I attempt to give people the benefit of the doubt that they have some logical course of action running through their minds that attempts to make everything reasonable. So while pondering that I put myself in her situation: broke, thousands of dollars owed to numerous places and people, moving in with new boyfriend who is currently paying for everything, unable to find a job, not to mention unwilling to search for one, but happy that she has someone taking care of her. Now me personally in her situation would be excited about having someone to share time with and be happy with, but I would despise them taking care of financial things for me. I think I am one of the few that enjoys being able to provide for myself, but I suppose that makes her happy. Upon thinking and wondering why she is making this so difficult the only thing I can come up with is that she's afraid to loose her friend because of all the shit she's put her through. I happen to know roommate b would never do that, but seeing as though roommate c has thrown an incredible amount of shit our way it is very plausible she's scared her friendship is close to ending. So instead of talking with said roommate about problems she pushes her away because its easier than dealing with issues. Logically that is the only thing i can come up with to explain why one person would want to hurt their friend so badly.
I guess to say the least the fight at stinky townhouse is not over. However roommate A has been accepted at new apartment and is not changing plans. I hate to say it but i'm taking care of myself before helping others. i see it as rude and it gives me an uneasy feeling about my morals, but financially I cannot afford to pull anyone else out of a hole, as I myself am already in one. The physics just don't work. I will take care of my friend as much as I can, I want to help her, but someone causing as much trouble as roommate c is, is not where I can be.
To employ the phrase "treat others as you want to be treated" seems ancient history. Did living in an age where people truly care about others ever exist? I give my students choices to questions, a would you rather have "a" or "b" situation to assure I don't get the regular "i don't know, or don't care" phrase back. I will pose a question here in that matter, 'would you rather live with sincere beings around you with true emotions or be surrounded by empty lives with only good deeds done as planning to hold it over that persons head later?' The answer is simple, but it takes dedication and a foresees many struggling times. It is a challenge to say the least, but I believe the purpose is worth it.
It makes me sad to think about the current state of our society. Society with friends, family, community, within our cites, states, and further seem to manage only by protecting themselves. Humans are capable of doing such amazing things, why is it that we have come to be so selfish? I'm not galavanting that I am the one who is apart from this crowd, let it be known, all I am doing is questioning when this type of life became okay, when did it become "standard"?
I don't want to stand out. I don't want to be famous. I don't want recognition for doing good deeds. I want to live a life with meaning and compassion. Love and honesty. Faith and trust. Grace.
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